Ok. First off, just out of curiosity, I was wondering if English was your first language? I'm guessing you come from Finland or some country near its whereabouts just based off your name. I might be wrong.
The only reason I ask this is that you present and past tenses are constantly being mixed up and your phrases are missing vital words to complete them, not to mention basic grammatical errors are being made. But, do not get discouraged. Let's start this up.
Quote:
agake fastly entered his house,he thinked that could find his family there defending thenselfs from the zombies...
- Okay, remember, at the start of every phrase you need a capital.
- Also, your getting your verbs mixed up within the sentence. "Entered" and "fastly" should be reversed.
- "Fastly" is not a word. This should be replaced by "quickly" or "with haste" or "as fast a he could" or something else.
- "thenselfs" should be written as "themselves". Remember: "Then" is a word that describes a continuation. Here's an example:
I fell down then started to bleed. I decided I would bandage myself and then go home. That's how that word is used. "Them" is a description of a group of people. That's the word you would use to replace your family in the story. That is why the word is "Themselves" not "Thenselfs", that's just not a word.
With these details kept in mind, I will re-write your sentence in proper english.
Agake entered his house quickly, thinking that he could find his family there defending themselves from the zombies...I know this must be confusing for you, and lots of details I changed aren't explained. But it's just that I can't fully teach you an English course. I could go through your entire little story and pick out every error but that would be a waste of time for both me and you because I doubt you'd be able to understand any of my corrections. If you believe this is not the case, let me know. All I can tell you to do is read other pieces and simply read English books in order to get the hang of it. I would even suggest practicing a little more before coming back, simply because this site is supposed to be a tough survival RPG. If you had a program like Microsoft word, or any language corrector/processor, I would suggest you change the options around to the English language and see if that would help you. I would obviously have to go easy on you in responding a counter and that would just be unfair to the game itself. With that said, I hope I didn't completely crush you in any way, and I didn't mean to.
I'll leave this topic open so you can reply to me without sending a PM. If you're still around and wish to continue on, then post here. I don't want to approve any request because quite simply put: you're piece was too weak and small to get anything approved. But like I said, just post here if you're still around and we'll get something figured out.
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